Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
