and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
