Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
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So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
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driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.