Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married