The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I have demons in me.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
i believe in u and ur pee
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
