His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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