Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
