I think my fart just growled at me.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize