1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
