Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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