if only i could text you this smell
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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