She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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