Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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