Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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