I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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