do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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