If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
