i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
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For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
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I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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