i would punch a child for taco bell
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
