so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize