He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
