NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Im part way to drunk.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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