Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
