I wanna passion pit in your ass
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
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