I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
