He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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