sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
