so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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