i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
