Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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