hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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