You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
