Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
