I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize