i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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