Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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