You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
