Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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