Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize