am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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