so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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