I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
