So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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