When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
