did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I pour the whiskey from now on
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize