Tell her she can't have a vagina
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
