he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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