i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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