around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
