i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
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I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
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Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in