id be glad to
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.