also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
3pm strippers are depressing
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.