Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.