I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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