Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
we made out on top of his cat.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
