I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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