Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
