just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
