Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
