My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
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Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
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im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
My penis needs a shock collar
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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