it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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