u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
