Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
