i would punch a child for taco bell
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
