the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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