Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
