part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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