I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
